It’s Complicated …

This weekend, while at work someone asked me a couple of questions:

1. How long have you been a nurse?

[Oh! … Oh! Wait … I know the answer to this one!!] “Umm … 24 years.”

2. Do you still like it?

[Oh … Umm … Well … So, you see – it’s complicated… (You need to think ‘SHORT ANSWER!’ – so …) Umm …] “Ah … yes!”

BUT[!], it’s complicated:

I love knowing how the human body works [- even my basic understanding] …
I HATE whiny … [like really, REALLY hate it!]
I love helping someone to feel better [… when everything else they have tried did not work].
I hate not being able to help someone [ … who deserves it].
I love being good at what I do … [This is NOT conceit. Seriously. I am great (statistically) at starting IV’s.] [Shakes salt over shoulder and rubs Buddha’s belly.]
I hate going too many hours without eating and/or peeing, while my back is ON-FIRE, and I’m currently adjusting to a financial pay-cut, while I bend over BACKWARDS to find common ground with the drug-seeker who has unrealistic goals for this particular emergency visit …
I love the concept of ‘bettering’ [… Is that even a word? …] human-kind. [Oh – SHUT UP, Florence!]
I HATE knowing what comes next [because of my basic understanding of the human body] …

So, to wrap up this week:

1. I [am pretty sure I] helped my oldest friend’s grandmother to feel better.

2. I’m doing my best to help [certain] family [members] adjust to the fact that my grandma is dying … [The long way – with a trach, peg tube and nursing home involved. BTW, Grandma – I love you … and this is NOT my idea!]

Yeah … It’s complicated.

P.S. – Thank you, God for [so many things – including my family,] my studio, my babies, and my [music] playlist [on LOUD!] …